{check out this episode for more on Christina Carlson: https://thesefukkenfeelingspodcast.buzzsprout.com/2146150/13457985-emotional-cartography-charting-the-inner-landscape-with-christina-carlson-season-2-5-ep-120}
With each story shared, the echoes of unresolved pain are undeniable, resounding in the chambers of our relationships and well-being. Our conversation traverses the terrain of victim mentality, the shades of healing that are as individual as fingerprints, and the monumental impact that kindness can have. Join us for a journey that not only honors the struggles we each may carry but also celebrates the profound growth that can sprout from adversity, as we underscore the importance of granting ourselves the grace to heal on our own terms, surrounded by a community that cares.
{check out this episode for more on Christina Carlson: https://thesefukkenfeelingspodcast.buzzsprout.com/2146150/13457985-emotional-cartography-charting-the-inner-landscape-with-christina-carlson-season-2-5-ep-120}
With each story shared, the echoes of unresolved pain are undeniable, resounding in the chambers of our relationships and well-being. Our conversation traverses the terrain of victim mentality, the shades of healing that are as individual as fingerprints, and the monumental impact that kindness can have. Join us for a journey that not only honors the struggles we each may carry but also celebrates the profound growth that can sprout from adversity, as we underscore the importance of granting ourselves the grace to heal on our own terms, surrounded by a community that cares.
Hello there, brave souls, welcome to Trauma is Expensive, with your host, Micah Bravery. Here we don't just talk about trauma, we count the cost and we make the change. With every episode, we dive deep into the heart of trauma, its implications and the resilient transformations it can ignite, through conversations, insights, real stories and unflinching honesty. This podcast is here to empower every survivor to turn their pain into progress. So let's take a journey together as we understand, confront and finally heal. Welcome to wwwtraumasexpensivecom, your platform for change. Now let's get started.
Speaker 2:
Welcome to Trauma Is Expensive. I am your host, micah Bravery, and after a week hiatus damn, I can't talk. Today we're back. Yeah, I was kind of like in Kentucky last week and I'm just going to call you out again Embassy Suites. The internet was so bad that I couldn't even download our podcast or upload our podcast to have brand new episodes last week. But hey, I guess some things are meant to be right. What they say, that there's, there's. Everything happens for a reason. I don't know whose reason, but clearly it wasn't meant for us to have a new episode last week. But it's cool.
Speaker 2:
We're back this week and it is a mental health awareness month and I think it's so important to really like put this out there. Your mental health is as important as your physical health, right, and it's time to start taking care of your mental health, like. It's time to start healing, it's time to start knowing who you really are inside and out. Right, there are so many things that affect us. There are so many hormones and personality traits and just situations that make life incredibly hard sometimes, and it's okay to admit that. It's okay to go through the motions and live that.
Speaker 2:
So I wanted to tell you guys a story because it was a little upsetting to me. So when I was leaving Kentucky, I got on a flight and I was seated next to a young gentleman who was just released from prison. He had he, I believe. He said he was 21, but I'm wrong, he might have been 22. He had been locked up for six years when he was 17 years old. He was doing something foolish, intoxicated and driving, got in a car accident and lost his best friend. Of course he went to prison for vehicular manslaughter, I think it is, and he was just being released. And he was just being released.
Speaker 2:
Now, of course, the way he was dressed kind of gave everybody the notion that this guy was just being released from prison. He was either he was getting released from prison or he was going to prison. But because he didn't have handcuffs on, we're pretty sure he's being released Right. And he was sitting next to me. Now, for some reason, the woman behind me was like completely against this guy being on the plane. I mean, she had a lot to say. The thing that was noticeable about him is that he was so nervous and so uncomfortable, like he was shaking, you know. So no, of course he was sitting next to me, so I need to make sure like, hey, are we good, are we going to be okay?
Speaker 2:
this way Because, um, I need to get where I need to go. I got a 22 minute layover, right, and I'm joking, but of course, you know I naturally do care about people. So, you know, I didn't want to be nosy and inquire about anything Most of the story he gave me and us talking but it just wanted to know, was he okay? Because he was shaking so badly and I was like you know, it's okay, breathe, you know, like it's cool. So of course, naturally, he started talking to me and, um, I usually carry around a tablet with me every time I fly, just because, if you know me, you know I am terrified of flying and I have to keep my mind busy, right? So I take my tablet and my volume that my doctor gave me and I usually watch movies. So I invited him to watch a movie with me. So, if you also know me, you know that I lose everything. So I always keep an extra pair of earbuds on me just because I lose everything. So I gave him my extra set of earbuds so he could watch the movie with me.
Speaker 2:
And the woman behind me was so disgusted. She was like I hope you don't get those back, I hope you know what you're doing. Like she just had so much to say. It was getting so bad that the stewardess was like ma'am, either you shut up or we gonna get you off this plane, right? So I don't know why she was so hard on this guy. I don't know if she knew his background or if it was just the fact that because he looked like he was just released from prison, he was clearly scared, a little sketchy looking, but it was because he was clearly scared and her commentation did not help, right? Um, but you know it. Just. Number one makes me realize that we do not know what the prison system does to people. Um, you know we, you know it's. It's what happens. Right, you do something wrong, you go to prison. But does it really help? That's a conversation of another day, but it just made me think about that. Like what did this guy go through? That he is terrified to come home. And then it's also the fact that he knows he just killed his best friend, or not just, but his best friend was killed because of him, and you can tell clearly he had a lot of guilt about that. But I bring that up to bring up another issue.
Speaker 2:
So on Friday I was scrolling through TikTok which is something that I do often, right, and I saw a post and in the post it had like a half picture. One half of the picture was a man stranded on a beach and he found some logs and created like help. And he found some logs and created like help, you know, wrote out help. And then the other picture he used the same logs to kind of create a raft to get him off the island. Well, in the caption it basically says victim mentality will get you killed. No one is coming to save you, it's up to you.
Speaker 2:
And where I can appreciate this perspective, because I know that my healing and my moments of peace came because I wanted them. I wanted to heal, I knew that life needed to change for me and I needed to get better, right. But I also understand that not everything is as black and white as we always often make it seem. Yeah, there is personal responsibility and there is self-reliance. So it's true, it's important for us to take the proactive steps in our lives and not wait for rescue. Right, got it. However, there are situations that it takes more than that. Sometimes, individuals find themselves in situations that are beyond their control and the concept of a victim mentality can be a bit oversimplified. It's not always a matter of choice. We don't know what's going on in everybody's life. There are, like socioeconomic factors, mental health factors and just an available of support systems in general, right. So, yeah, self-help is important, personal initiative is important, but we should also acknowledge that sometimes it takes roles of support to get people to where they are.
Speaker 2:
I know that I would not exist without some kind of form of aid, and who I am now if I hadn't taken the time to go out there and search for information and trying to find ways to help my struggling and my struggling was genuine. I had a lot of trauma in my life and you know, I realized that I was very alone and I was so alone because of my trauma. So, yeah, I know I needed to change, but I also know that I didn't know how to deal with all of my issues on my own and I went out there and I got help. I had a really dope therapist. She was great. She taught me to talk right. So it is her. She is the reason why I won't shut the hell up and why you're listening to me now, right, but you know I do want us to remember that it's important to realize the messages that we put out there.
Speaker 2:
You know, we say things and they're so finite. You know we say things and it's like this is what it is, but we have to know that there is exceptions to every rule and we must make sure that people understand that as well. Not all two situations are the same. I'm guilty of this, you know. I I want people to heal so badly because I have healed that I get frustrated when I have a conversation with somebody and they're going through the same thing that we just talked about two weeks ago and it's like bro, we talked about this, you need to get it together, but who am I to give somebody a time frame? You need to get it together, but who am I to give somebody a time frame? So I'm victim of this. I mean, I'm not victim of it. I guess I'm oh my God, what's the word looking for? I'm guilty. I'm guilty of this, right, I'm guilty sometimes of like putting my agenda on people, you know, because I want people to feel the way I feel and you know, to me it's like that message was a little finite.
Speaker 2:
You know, it's like we can't really say what a victim mentality is, unless you actually been a victim of some sort, and then you know if you really think about how you got out of it. Yes, it took a lot of strength and courage and fight on your behalf, but I'm pretty sure along the way you had a little bit of help. And if you didn't, I'm sorry that you didn't, but because you didn't offer that help to someone else, you, we all have different strengths, we all have different talent, challenges, and sometimes a helping hand can make the difference. So, you know, it's like I guess it comes down to compassion. Um, christina carlson uh, she was on our podcast, these fucking villains podcast, but she actually was like the first person to really made me think about compassion and to realize that that's where healing starts to form in compassion, and compassion for yourself and compassion for others. There's no such thing as too much compassion, you know you, you have to have compassion for others. There's no such thing as too much compassion, you know you have to have compassion for yourself.
Speaker 2:
So, once again, personal responsibility and self-reliance are crucial to fulfilling life right, taking charge of your choices and your actions. Yeah, it's going to lead to personal growth, it's going to lead to resilience, but it's equally important to acknowledge that not everyone starts from the same place or has access to the same resources. So when we face adversity, it's vital to remember that seeking help isn't a sign of weakness if that's what you need to do, but seeking help demonstrates strength. You can reach out to a friend, church member, family, other community organizations, but accepting help can be a powerful thing. So I guess I just wanted to have the conversation about just being so finite on things Like no, it's not bad to Ask for help and that's never a message that we should give to people.
Speaker 2:
It's never something we should say. We shouldn't be out here telling people that if they ask for help, they're going to die. You know, we should be telling people like if you ask for help, you're weak, it's not going to work, you're going to die. Like those things are not cool is important to cultivate self-awareness. Understand your strengths, your limitations and, when you need help, do self-reflections. That's personal, I mean, that's key in personal growth, right? But you also want to build a support network. Surround yourself with positive influences and people who uplift you during your troubled times. Offer support to others. Once again, it's about that compassion, empathy and kindness, create a supportive community where you can thrive, because I believe that's what life's about. Once again, like I said, I'm starting to realize that I can't push my agenda and trust. My agenda is happiness in this lifetime. That is all I really care about. I feel like we have a journey in life and it is filled with up to nouns, right, but your life should not always be miserable.
Speaker 2:
The woman on the plane I don't know what she experienced, but I know that she needed to heal from something and she was lashing out at this young man because he might have represented something that happened to her in her life. You know, maybe he was a physical representation of some of her trauma and she lashed out and was very, very cool about it. And when we say that she's a strong person, I mean I don't know, but clearly she needed to heal, because I don't think it's ever appropriate really to be mean, especially when it's like unjust. You know he wasn't bothering her, he was just trying to find his space. You know, when I say this guy was nervous, I felt like he was shaking the whole plane, how bad he was shaking.
Speaker 2:
So kind of broke my heart a little bit because once again, it's like wow, you don't know people's stories, right? But when is it our place to judge? Because I don't know, I don't think it is. Um, you know, especially if you're one of those people out here who believe in a higher power, then you definitely know it ain't your place to judge, right? Yes, we all do it. We all do it with some crazy conviction because somehow we know it all, but the reality is, the only thing you can truly know is yourself, right?
Speaker 2:
So yes we're going to go back again to self-reliance, self-awareness, self-esteem, just the self. But. And if you need help to get to a place where you can completely count on you, ask for that help. Stop letting people tell you you don't deserve it or that you don't need it, or that you can't have it because it's. It's not true, like it's out there. And what time is more valuable than the present? Right, like let's heal? You know the? The name of this podcast is trauma is expensive, and it's true. Trauma is so expensive it costs, especially unresolved trauma.
Speaker 2:
You know, I feel like it is the reason why I am single as hell, right, because I'm filled with so much trauma. How can I possibly love anybody else when I don't even know who I am yet? Right, and maybe people can sense that, because I mean, look at me, I should completely have somebody, but no, really I should, right? But and don't get it twisted I know the love of my life, but just because I know the love of my life does not mean that I am ready for that person, right? So I'm taking my time and I'm healing and I'm going to continue on this healing journey and I'm going to continue to have good days, hopefully not so many bad days, but when I do have them, I allow myself to have them, I allow myself to recognize them, realize why they exist, what they're there for. Hopefully I can learn from them and move on the next day. You know, that's kind of how I look at things, but at the end of the day, I'm different. We're all different.
Speaker 2:
There are so many methods out there to your healing. There are so many people that are out there willing to help, and it's okay to need help, like it is okay to need help. Um, and I guess there's a difference. Right, we shouldn't need saving, or we shouldn't want people to save us, or shouldn't? And once again, I'm saying shouldn't, but it's not true. Sometimes you need that right, like, sometimes you do need to be saved and sometimes there are people out there that can save you. But I don't know. The most important thing is just, well, let's watch the messages that we give people. Realize that not everything that works for you works for everybody else. Not every belief system is a belief system. I follow this person on Instagram, a huge fan of his content, but I'm not always a fan of his message. But it is who he is as a person that I respect because I know his intent isn't to be harmful, right, so he's trying to help the same way I'm trying to help. You know, we've been through things and and it's we're growing from it now 're healing from it and I have a lot more happy moments than I do sad moments, and I am constantly laughing and enjoying life right. But it took 40 years to get to this point and I needed to find help, and doing it by myself didn't work for me. It didn't work the way I thought it would. You know it wasn't into and trust. I did a lot of this journey by myself, but it is because I did it by myself that I think I did it wrong, because if I would have been pointed in some directions or been able to give some advice, not that I needed to follow it, but in order to figure out my perspective, sometimes it helped to hear others' perspectives and that kind of let me know whether I felt like they were right or wrong. So, once again, let's just be careful with the messages we give for people. Remember that your mental health is as important as your physical health and let's take time to heal and to value each other and to know that we all are not that different and we need each other, and that's OK. And that's okay Until next week. I am your boy, micah Bravery, just telling you guys to heal, heal, heal yo, like. Get in touch with whatever you need to get in touch with so that you have more good days than you do bad, because your bad days are costing you and it's costing you your whole life. Until next time, I hope you guys have a great week. Happy Monday. Today wasn't too bad for me, but I did do a lot of traveling and just a lot of crazy stuff. But I'm looking forward to the rest of the week and seeing what it brings me. It's finally getting warm where I am, so I'm excited about that too. We haven't really seen much of a spring, so now that we're seeing it, it's like hot boy summer coming through. You guys, keep a watch out for all the new things we are coming your way. Continue to watch and listen. We'll continue to guide as we can and remember these fucking feelings podcast. We have brand new episodes every Wednesday and our guests are completely incredible. They're always providing methods, different methods to healing, and there is a method for you. So check it out, find out what it is and let's get to work. The world is not going to change itself. We have to change it. Peace, love and blessings.
Speaker 1:
And that brings us to the end of yet another insightful episode of Trauma is Expensive. I'm signing off on behalf of your host, micah Bravery, reminding all you brave souls to continue counting the cost and making the change. Don't forget to visit wwwtraumaisexpensivecom, a dynamic space for understanding, healing and transformation, where we fuel the journey to turn pain into progress. Until we meet again, stay resilient, stay empowered and remember the mantra count the cost and make the change. Thank you for being part of the conversation. We bid you farewell. Until next time.