The Price of Lingering Shadows: The Unseen Toll of Cancer's Relentless Pursuit

As I, Micah Bravery, share the wheel with you on this journey, we're not just cruising through tales of resilience; we're examining the price tags hanging from the rearview mirror. Picture this: a shadow clinging to your back for fifteen years, a shadow named cancer, and just when you think you've outrun it, it taps you on the shoulder. This episode of "Trauma is Expensive" is a raw gearbox of emotions, where I confront the possibility that perhaps the specter of my past battles with cancer never really left my side, and how its looming presence might have paved the way for its unwelcome return.

Navigating the labyrinth of mental health, this candid conversation explores the persistent anticipation of relapse and its toll on my well-being. There's no roadmap for handling the constant fear that every sniffle or ache could be a harbinger of disaster. But it's in the sharing of our stories—like the one you'll hear from our guest on the "These Fucking Feelings Podcast—that we find solidarity. Together, we peel back the layers of trauma, daring to ask the tough questions about the power of unresolved pain and the strength it takes to not just survive, but to thrive. Join us as we seek to empower survivors to transform their anguish into action, their fear into fortitude.

Join me as I confront my deepest fears and realizations, reminding us all of the true importance of embracing our authenticity and sharing our stories. Tune in to "Trauma is Expensive" and be prepared for a truly unfiltered and powerful experience

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello there, brave souls, Welcome to Trauma is Expensive, with your host, Micah Bravery. Here we don't just talk about trauma, we count the cost and we make the change. With every episode, we dive deep into the heart of trauma, its implications and the resilient transformations it can ignite, Through conversations, insights, real stories and unflinching honesty. This podcast is here to empower every survivor to turn their pain into progress. So let's take a journey together as we understand, confront and finally heal. Welcome to wwwtraumaisexpensivecom, your platform for change. Now let's get started.

Speaker 2: 0:51

What is up people? Welcome to. Trauma is Expensive. I am your host, micah Bravery, and yes, I am currently driving when I'm headed to. We hospitaled. My mom was admitted on Saturday and when we say trauma is expensive, I am officially broke.

Speaker 2: 1:14

But I was thinking about yesterday was my cancer birth certificate and this February it was supposed to make five years cancer free on Valentine's Day, but a few weeks ago I kind of was given those words that I never wanted to hear again and that was its back so cool, its back. We got to deal with it. Luckily we called it really early and we're treating it very aggressively. It sucks for me because the next couple of weeks are going to be kind of hard, but it's awesome that we called it early, so I am thankful nonetheless. But the reason I bring this up in this episode is because we're talking about the cost of unresolved trauma, and cancer has always been unresolved to me and I guess I didn't realize that until it came back, because for the last 15 years of my life I was diagnosed in 2008. I kind of went through. Every little thing that happened to be was cancer. My nose is running out oh, my god, my cancer is back. If my stomach hurt, oh my god, my cancer is back. I mean, that was a little bit of a hypochondriac, but you know it's warranted or not. But you know, if you guys listen to these fucking feelings podcast, brand new episode every Wednesday, which you should definitely check out.

Speaker 2: 2:50

Their podcast it is so dope. We're a mental health advocacy group. We have a lot of guests on. They share their knowledge. They all have been through a struggle and have survived that struggle phenomenally and that's kind of what we want for you and all of our podcast. But anyway, in this one, if you listened to that podcast, you know that I have overcome many traumas, and cancer not being my worst one. But it wasn't until recently that I started to realize like I always have been prepared for cancer coming back, like it was always in the back of my mind, it hovered over me, it was the cloud, it was the shadow of the cancer has been the major part of my life for the last 15 years and it's like in learning about mental health and learning how to wake up as an individual, about myself, because to me that's the only woke that's important, when you wake up for yourself, about your healing and your happiness and about your well being and not about the rest of the world. But that's another conversation for another day.

Speaker 2: 4:02

Anyway, but I started to realize that what if I manifested this back to myself? What if this is the cost of not dealing with that trauma, if not resolving that? Hey, this happened to you. You had no control over it, you survived it and now live as a survivor and not live as if you're attached to the hip and it can jump at you in any moment, because that's how it was living. So I say to you this is kind of what the podcast is about. It's about discovering these moments that you know, this is.

Speaker 2: 4:39

You know, I talked about trauma and I'm forthcoming about it. And, yeah, I went through this and this and this and this, and even though it has been mentioned that I had cancer and went through it, we'll never talk about it much because it's kind of like, you know, but at least that's what I thought I was doing. But I feel like now what I really was doing was avoiding talking about it because I was so scared that I was going to bring it back to you because I haven't resolved it. I didn't go through it. I didn't live, though I lived through those moments and that is why I'm traumatized as hell Now. I didn't mentally live through those moments Like I didn't need mostly get to finish living in those moments or living outside of those moments. I guess I should say I needed to move on and I didn't allow myself to move on, you know, allow myself to stay right there in those moments of cancer.

Speaker 2: 5:33

And I mean I wrote my first book, love Beyond the Battle. Check it out, you can get on Amazon, sorry, or anywhere books are sold. Yeah, another plug like why not write it, came up in conversation. But my first book could have been about so many stories, but it was about cancer and it was about surviving cancer. But and even though I had to learn to love my cancer and I feel like that's how I was able to destroy it in the beginning and that's how I will destroy it this time, I guess it wasn't a book really about overcoming it. I didn't really overcome it in an emotional standpoint.

Speaker 2: 6:10

Now I'm not saying that what's happening to me is my fault, but I'm not close to the possibility that it could be. But I could have called this to myself. You know, it's like when there's an accident and we say and traffic, or sorry, there's bumping up on the traffic. And we say to ourselves, they're better be an accident. No, why should there better be an accident? That definitely should not be an accident, like that's the last thing we should want. And then it's an accident and it's like. You know, are we calling that stuff?

Speaker 2: 6:41

You know, I recently saw a video the other day about the Mandela effect and they were saying the guys theory and I'm really apologize, I don't remember his name and I should have caught on to the video but I watched it and it didn't hit me to after. How dope what he was saying, what it was, how dope it was. And basically he was saying about this Mandela effect. In particular, he was talking about Futter Loom and the corn copia that used to be in his logo and how Futter Loom actually released a statement that it wasn't and how, like this woman searched until she found garments that had the corn copia on her things. And I've heard many other examples of the Mandela effect.

Speaker 2: 7:20

But what he said was that this is the way that they're going to start to control. It's like if I can get you to believe that that was never there, then how much more can I get you to believe? And it's like slowly in a way, kind of like brainwashing us. You know the Jiffy thing, you know, and it's like, wow, that kind of makes sense. But you know, because I'm in a mental health healing journey, I always think of things inside myself and I'm like you know my Mandela and affecting myself in a way by saying this is how my life should be. Oh, I should live with cancer because I'm prepared for it by being prepared for it, when really I should be controlling my mind to live without it because I no longer had it. And I guess that's the moral of my story. You know, I know this is really not a really well thought out episode, um, and, and it confuses me because I'm so confused about where this podcast needs to go.

Speaker 2: 8:22

But one thing I do know is that it's important because the lessons of dealing with trauma Aren't out there. I mean, now people are still talking about mental health, but it hasn't changed the stigma. People still believe that mental health Doesn't exist in all of us and it does in every single one of us. I don't care if it was. I always tell people watch the show candy on hold and you'll watch it and you think this is some bullshit. That woman got away with murder. But when you actually sit back and think of the things that people do to take you off, it kind of makes sense, you know, and If she would have dealt with her trauma, someone else would still be alive, and it sometimes it is that severe. And I'm not saying that your trauma is so severe that you're gonna go kill some people, but I'm not saying that it's not. I'm saying that I don't know. That's for you to figure out. And in figuring that out, I guarantee you you will learn what pieces, because I did, and that's where all these podcasts have come from these fucking feelings. I learned to deal with all my fucking feelings and and finally know what it's like to lay my head down and be at peace, which is pretty incredible.

Speaker 2: 9:44

Um, and I just wanted for everybody else and Check us out, don't let this episode dictate whether you're gonna keep watching us. I promise you. I got it planned out 50 episodes this season. We're gonna hit hard troops about trauma and how they affect you and how we need to move on from them. Or, if you can't move on from them, then learn how to walk through them, because they need to be here in your rear-view mirror, you know, and even those things fade away. So until next time I am your host, michael bravery. I hope you have a great MLK day. I have to work and be one while I'm at the hospital, so my day is gonna be a little complicated. But you know what I'm gonna walk through today and I'm gonna live through this moment and I'm gonna tell y'all how I feel about it tomorrow peace, love and blessings. And that brings us to the end of yet another insightful episode of trauma is expensive.

Speaker 1: 10:44

I'm signing off on behalf of your host, micah Bravery, reminding all you brave souls to continue counting the cost and making the change. I'm not gonna be a hero and making the change. Don't forget to visit wwwtraumaisexpensivecom, a dynamic space for understanding, healing and transformation, where we fuel the journey to turn pain into progress. Until we meet again, stay resilient, stay empowered and remember the mantra count the cost and make the change. Thank you for being part of the conversation. We bid you farewell. Until next time.